Pray You Never Forget
by Corelli Sonatas
Summary: Mary and the Dowager Countess share words about Matthew in a way that grandmother and granddaughter have never done before. Extended scene from Series Four, Episode One. Set after Mary storms off during dinner.


"You must choose...either death...or life."

"And you think I should choose life?" Mary shifted her gaze from the crackling fireplace to her grandmother, whom she would never have imagined to be this sentimental. Violet reached out and put an arm over Mary's shoulders. There was a quiet moment between them, during which the active fire became the room's aura.

Violet withdrew her arm as soon as she felt tears sting her ageing eyes. "I do not normally express emotion so openly, nor do I often tell the truth, should it be one of sentimentality." She had earned her mourning granddaughter's attention at this remark, whereupon the Dowager continued:

"The last time that I...did _this_ sort of thing...was during the war. I had decided to speak to Matthew, because I had noticed..." Violet proceeded at a slower pace, finally experiencing the pressure in her throat: a side-effect of grief. But her voice remained steady: and Mary was comforted by that. "I knew you were still in love with him. He claimed to feel no love for you. And then I told him, 'You loved her once. Can't you love her again?' And that had been the end of it. But, Mary," Violet continued, resting her strong, life-withered hand on top of Mary's creaseless one. "Matthew always loved you. I am sure, if I had seen him on the day you gave birth to your son -" Mary's face grew fragile, but Violet assured her still - "he must have worn the happiest, proudest smile across his face. That young man...was the most loving, most endearing person I have ever..."

"I was so very lucky," cried Mary, her hands covering her face - not out of shame, but out of pure sadness for this loss which had smacked her life at its height. Everything had been so perfect before Matthew had departed the hospital...but once he had gone, he was _gone_. And so Mary's tears were for this robbery, this smack in the face, this innocent death. She understood Granny's logic; she had to return to the land of the living, else the future of Downton - the future of her son - would dwindle away.

Then she recalled an observation she had made years ago: _Everything seems so golden one moment, but turns to ashes the next._

"I agree, my dear, you were so lucky to find one who loved _you_. Matthew did not fall in love with you because of all of _this."_ The Dowager Countess gestured to their surroundings. "He wanted nothing but for you to become his future, his wife, the mother to his child."

Mary looked at her grandmother with ardent love, now more appreciative for than surprised by her sincerity and support. "Thank you, Granny," she acknowledged the older woman. "I needed that."

"I know," Violet assured Mary softly. "We all need help in our times of mourning. How wrong it is, for someone of your age to suffer from this matter of life so early-on..."

The new mother took a deep, brave breath and looked at her lap. "Poor little George. I cannot be both his mother and his father... Matthew would have adored fatherhood."

As soon as she had mentioned it, the young woman erupted into tears. "Oh, Mary," Violet soothed, rubbing Mary's back gently. "We all loved him so... Pray you never forget that. You and your son must never forget it. Matthew had a place here. I admit," she added, lips curved into a smile, "that I would never have wished for Robert's title to inherit anyone other than Matthew. He would have done wonderfully...but now we have his son to look forward to -"

"Oh, Granny!" sobbed Mary, leaning to the side in order to hide within her grandmother's embrace. Violet held her granddaughter there, silent and understanding. Mary had not had such a chance to unleash her restless emotions, and the Dowager knew that the time was right. _She must let it out now, while I am at my best to comfort her._

"I love you, my dear." Violet let Mary free and found her cane. "I will always love you, and I will never forget how much Matthew loved you and the baby." When at last the Dowager Countess lifted herself up from the bedside, Mary got up and kissed her grandmother warmly on the cheek.

"I love you, Granny. I may not seem to have a heart, nor may I ever have what I left behind with Matthew -"

"Mary, if you have chosen life over death we must make something clear." Violet held Mary's hands in hers and they locked eyes. "Yes?" pressed Mary, making the effort to climb out of the pool of tears and sorrow for one moment.

"You must never say that you don't have a heart," instructed the other, "because you do. Matthew had not the slightest trouble finding it, did he?" She touched Mary's cheek. Mary smiled sadly and shook her head. "Very well, then. Good night, my dear."

Before the Dowager Countess could take another step toward the door, her granddaughter stopped her. "Granny."

"Yes?"

"Sybil was right. You _are_ a romantic."

Violet could only purse her lips, knowing too well that she had just openly been declared guilty of having a heart herself.

Something for which Mary was grateful. It gave her hope for her own years of old-age.


End file.
